Are You Doing What You Always Have Wanted To Do?

Thursday, March 12, 2009
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Posting ends here and now. Moving to wordpress. Au Revoir, blogspot~ moshi kikai ga areba, sa... ja ne~ Live a good life!

TK at 10:49 PM

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Tuesday, March 10, 2009
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Clarity | Practice

Today, forced myself to work ONLY on the single activity that will increase my income:

Listing more items in my account on eBay.

After having set up the absolutely serene looking shrine right in the office between Lawrence's and my desk, it somehow emanates a sense of clarity and calm previously entirely absent.

Analyzed the several years I have been working on my goals, and realized, there has been a fundamental flaw:

I have not been as clear about what I wanted as I ought to be so as to be able to track my progress and re-orientate myself along the way; without a clear idea where I want to go, no amount of effort is going to convince myself right through my deepest level of consciousness that I am on the right path.

* * *

Been observing my heart when around people these few days:

Apprehension, resentment, neutral at best...

Crap, where have all the positive feelings gone to?

I believe where positive feelings reside, it precedes the positive feelings I express and offer to others first. Isn't that so? How else would it ever be directed at me anyway.

On another note, has anyone realised....

That all the feelings we have about others, are almost always derived from the concerns about....

OURSELVES?

The fear, the hurt, the desire, the... you name it...

All the thoughts that occupy our entire day, seems only to be about...

OURSELVES!

So, it is human. It is normal. How can one then be blamed for being selfish? We all are, naturally...

BUT!!!

We have a choice. We have a conscience, to know what is right or wrong. We can have wisdom, to constantly remind ourselves to guard against our tendencies to act in unpleasant ways.

That's practice.

TK at 9:33 PM

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Thursday, March 05, 2009
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Timely Message | Forgiveness

Finally got to revisit my 'Personal' file where I kept away all my personal goals and plans. Saw this sheet of browned paper with all my goals listed back in 2003. The first one read: To earn $5K/month by end of 2003. I laughed at myself.

I have the very same goal still. That's why.

I almost got there, 2 years back, at the peak of my eBay days, just several hundred dollars short, until eBay changed their search engine policy, and sales plummeted.

Just as I thought I've lost all my previous business contacts when I am now working towards picking up the broken pieces, an Indonesian acquaintance approached me on Yahoo messenger, almost when I was about to close the entire window.

He said he would work for me for 2-3Million INR/month. Well, maybe he is smart enough to be working for more than 1 employer like myself, and pocketing a decent amount each month running several errands, maybe he is happy to simply run away with the money after the first pay check, or he could be planning for more malicious gains when there are a huge export deal. But trust has to start somewhere. Give, only when you can afford to lose. Invest, only when you can afford to too.

I think I can afford that. But I've got to fly over there to meet up with him before committing to such an investment of faith.

Indonesia sounds like a good location to launch my global campaign...

* * *

Read from the latest free distro book from PKS , which goes something like this:

If you feel deep anger about someone, it is often due to selective memory. In your meditation, reflect on these three questions:

1. What are the good things you have done for him/her?

2. What are the goods things they have done for you?

3. What are the difficulties you have created for them?

It is fascinating how such reflective questions can help us recall the hidden memories of the 'plus' they have made in your life, while we dwell on the single 'minus' we usually blow out of proportion.

If the thought of such a person creates a response to ignore, or feel hate or hurt, it is purely our reactions based on our labels of what's right or wrong, of our expectations of how others should behave towards us.

After the 3 questions, some of the retreatants felt guilty, especially when the subject is their parents.

TK at 9:41 PM

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Wednesday, March 04, 2009
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Self Help | The Swan & The Peacock

"The only way to change your life and be in control, is to start taking responsibility for who you are today."

"What have you done each day for the past many years, that has brought you closer to who you want to become?"

You can find similar quotes in lots of self help materials, but they are only helpful when you reread them, revisit them and repeat them to a definite effect; they are not magic words that grant you a miracle with you reading it only once.

* * *

A coincidental encounter with Bhante Chandra on bus 55 to work yesterday. He is a professor lecturer in PKS who completed his Buddhist Studies PhD in a Hong Kong university. Chatted a bit and started on the topic on meditation since he was reading a book on mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh.

I shared my opinion about laypeople like myself constantly being pulled between extremes of mundane pursuits and a detached spiritual aspiration.

He then related monks as swans and laypeople as peacocks. The peacock lives a very colorful life with all the feathers to show off; while the swan is plain and white with little concerns. Despite the differences, both the swan and the peacock can fly, just that the swan can fly faster, while the peacock, tends to get distracted easily.

Nice analogy.

TK at 10:46 PM

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Tuesday, March 03, 2009
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I thought a mental was brought to Master Bai for treatment until I got up from my session to see a person covered in a large and long piece of talismen, most probably Taoist.

Me: * Limping to the back of the room to keep the pillow *

Possessed Teenage Girl: * Covered in talismen *

Me: (O.O).... * Stunned, looking at master's direction where he was talking to her family *

Whole room: * Looked at me *

Me: ...... * Kept quiet, and continued walking away to the next room *

No wonder she was like laughing, wailing and screaming about getting rid of something earlier, as though there were 2 persons talking. It all quietened down, I believe only after they laid the talismen, covering her face as well.

From the way she was shouting, so much anger, wonder how that is going to help in getting rid of the spirit.

* * *

When you closed your eyes, what do you see?

Nothing?

Or Darkness.

What is seeing?

Your eyes?

Or your mind?

What if you don't have this physical body? A ghost maybe? What do you use to perceive the world then?

TK at 3:16 PM

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Thursday, February 26, 2009
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Stopping Thoughts, Observing Thoughts

Was listening to the latest Ven Ajahn Brahm's talk on youtube when he made a particular statement (which is actually not part of his main delivery) that caught my attention.

He said it is a mistake to try to stop our thoughts when they come into contact with our mind.

To stop our thoughts during our meditation, is often almost similar to the idea of letting the thoughts fade off on their own, but the distinction is in fact very significant when it comes to their individual application, the actual practice.

If you have some experience with prolonged sitting, you would have encountered sessions during which you get very agitated and frustrated when your thoughts refuse to just go away despite your effort to observe peacefulness.

But in reality, as per my understanding, thoughts are like sights, smells, sounds, things that are 'external'. If we react to them, we miss the whole purpose of meditation. When thoughts appear, just as when sights or sounds are sensed, we, as meditators, should just observe, not react to it, and keep the attention on the meditation object, such as your breathe, and continue with just that.

The mistake is to try to stop those thoughts, because to be able to stop them, is likened to your ability to stop your body from experiencing touch, sights, smells, etc! To feel frustrated, is already a response; to try to stop it, is a response as well.

And again, if your lives are very simple, with little concerns and worries, thoughts are less likely to fill your entire session. That's why long retreats are essential for urban dwellers. Yet, most of us, have too much preoccupations to be able to stay totally silenced for long hours.

Meditation, or the practice of mindfulness, is not only when you are sitting down there; it should be every minute of your waking hour. It sure is very tough. Let's strive to hone the skill with each sitting, at least for the start.

TK at 2:47 PM

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Wednesday, February 25, 2009
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Remove Those Dust | To China

Don't get too caught up with the things that are happening to you, to stop you from moving forward, to dream. Know that you are still alive and nothing is impossible only until you have at least tried.

I'm sure that pair of specs are not going to show anything if it was used to look at the Buddha. =D

Or click here to view the translation. This is actually one of the ending themes of the popular Japanese animation series: One Piece.

Interesting when you can understand a foreign language. Notice Japanese songs are much more meaningful than their Chinese and English counterparts; the former are often ridiculously nonsensical.

* * *

Going to China in May. Flight has already been booked, as Hongli is going to Hong Kong, so taking the chance to travel a bit. Transit there for the first day and onto Shenzhen and Guangzhou by train or ferry; cheaper. Depends on what Lawrence's plans are. May go to Guangzhou alone, since he plans to do his shopping in Shenzhen. Going to search out all the factories and possibly those artisans in the region.

Can't really achieve much in just 2 days, but at least I can get a feel of how it is like over there first. Really need to employ someone to be there to handle the operations once the site is ready to launch with wholesale services.

TK at 6:35 PM

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